/ life

Thoughts on Betsy

Man now that I’m not working I have so much more time to just... be on the internet wasting time. And Blogging. I used to blog so much and I kind of fell out of it, not just because of lack of time but also lack of interest. I suddenly realized how self-absorbed it all was.

But um. Here I am blogging again so. Oops. Self absorbed 😳

Anyway, here’s today’s dose of self-absorbed thoughts: My beloved dog.

Betsy is turning five in July and I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately.

Since the baby was born she’s really changed. She’s still the same dog, but she’s less hyper and energized, more calm, and can survive a few days without a walk without losing her shit. This probably sounds great and it is, in a sense, because I’d be going crazy if she was as nutso as she used to be (managing dog + baby is a handful sometimes!), but it also breaks my heart a little.

I don’t know if it’s BECAUSE of the baby forcing her to change her ways, or if the baby’s arrival just happened to coincide with her getting old.

Oh god my beautiful puppy is getting OLD.

She’s always been this very Joie de vivre creature. She prances like a dressage horse when she walks. Her eyes are always dancing, everything is FUN. And to know that as she gets older this attitude may begin to melt away rocks me to the core. And makes me realize that one day I’m going to lose her. And it may not be that far off - Rotties aren’t exactly known for their longevity.

And I don’t know what I will do when that day comes. It may just break me.

Betsy has not only been around for so many huge milestones in my life, she has also been THE major focus of my life for the last five years. And still is, despite new baby coming and messing things up 🙃

Anyway. I hope this day doesn’t come soon - and it may not for many years! - but it is looming in my mind and it frightens me.